Sunday, March 18, 2018

Tom and the awful Detective Henry

Tom and the awful Detective Henry

Written by Michael D. Gutierrez

Chapter 1. Rules and Lies

Forty years ago in the town of Eagle Rock, there was a golden age of great detectives. Those detectives ran out all of the mafias and exposed corrupt political figures
Everyday reading the Eagle Rock Post seemed like reading an old pulp detective novel. The story’s with all the fighting and the good guy getting the girl in the end. The bomb being stopped when there’s just one second left on the counter.
Good for me, that golden age stuff is long gone over. Most of the detectives sold out and started to work for private companies and secret government branches, instead of helping the locals. Other detectives that wanted to play hero, were hunted down by private mob detectives, then they were killed.
The last honest detective out there. He's somewhat of a folk hero in the streets. His name is Harrison Grant. He's still at work trying to put guys like me in prison. I thought he died a long time ago, but our leads say otherwise. He works incognito.
He's hard for any mob's private detective to track because very few people know what Harrison looks like.
He is considered one of the best. I don't feel he would be difficult to capture because he must be old as heck. Harrison must be like in his late 70's pushing 80's.
I doubt he still working. I assume someone’s just pretending to be him. Probably just using Harrison brand makes sense. I doubt he still working himself.
My name is Tom Dime, I run with the Grump Street gang. I am one of the three people apart of this small task force to capture this sun of a gun. The other Twitter men with are, my right-hand man, Daniel Kan and some private investigator name Henry Shiz.
Detective Henry Shiz, is kinda primadonna.
Two hours ago we got a tip-off that detective Harrison was in the neighborhood.
Henry: I hope you boys are armed because this could be dangerous. We are capturing him not hunting him. Harrison is not a man that will not be captured easily. Harrison was an A-rank threat before he went off the radar.
Daniel: He's just a wash up old man that can't let go of his the glory days. This should be a cakewalk.
Henry: That's not true Daniel, Harrison has busted a lot of our top leaders in the past. This old man is not a pushover, he's a problem. I'm just really surprised it's just the three of us on this mission.
Tom: Detective Henry, do you have a history with detective Harrison?
Henry: Yes, Harrison showed me most of his old tricks, when I was a young up and coming detective. Around your age, early twenties. We work together in a couple of major big cases back in the day.
Daniel: How can me and my buddy Tom, know you won't betray us when we start killing your old friend boy, Harrison?
Henry: That won't be the most dreadful thing I have ever done, ok. Trust me I can deal with it. First, I like being on the Grump street payroll. Second, the FBI does not want me anymore, in reason, I won't get into. Lastly, my daughter is going to a scam ridden art college, so I need as much money as I can get my hands on.
Tom: I know liars Daniel, and he is not one. Don't get me wrong, he is a cockroach, but he is our cockroach.
Daniel: Great because nothing is going to stop me from blowing Harrison's brains out. It is his fault my father went to the slammer. My dad was just selling fake social security account.
We got a tip from a store owner that the gang has a connection with. He said he saw detective Harrison leaving and entering the rundown Dude Gum factory for a couple of days. Around 3:30am. All three of us enter through a broken window to get into the factory.
Henry: Alright boys listen up. Let's stick together, ok.
Daniel: No I can't, Henry. I need to get revenge now.
Daniel ran down the hall, with his gun out. Daniel has all focus on finding detective Harrison.
Henry: Dumb kid, he does not know who he is dealing with. Your friend is a moron, Tom. We get more money if catch the guy alive.
Tom: Sorry, Henry, Daniel has never been the type of guy that takes orders.What is your plan, man? More money if catch the guy alive.
Henry: Stealth. It' Stealth. Taking advantage of Harrison age is the best way to get the drop on him. His hearing must not be that great anymore. He probably can’t fist fight as fast as he us too.
I and Henry slowly walk upstairs to oversee the factory so we could find detective Harrison. As we walk around the hall I see Henry planting nano cameras on the walls.
Tom: I still don't understand why would you want to betray your own friend?
Henry: Friend? I have a very small history with detective Harrison. That's why I would not call him a friend. It would be great for me if he disappeared. I have done some bad things, so maybe someday he may come after me. One less worry.
Tom: Oh, I see... You want insurance so Harrison won't come after you.
Henry: It would make me sleep easier knowing he's swimming with the fishes.
A fire alarm goes off all around the Dude Gum factory. Henry and I grabbed our guns out immediately.
Tom: I really hope that was just, Daniel fucking around with the alarm.
Let's run back downstairs. I think I thought I saw a fire alarm there.
An intercom shouted saying "I'm not there Henry, I'm in the cafeteria".
Henry: Dammit, it is Harrison, Tom!
Tom: That alarm scared the shit out of me. Do you think someone ratted us out and alerted, Harrison?
Henry: That's possible, Tom. I think it was most likely Daniel's recklessness that got Harrison's attention. That high school dropout fool.
I and Henry entered in the large lunch room and see an old man with a wearing trench coat. Could it be Harrison? He looked a lot older than I imagine. Henry's face looks like he saw a ghost, he is speechless.
Tom: You're Harrison, right? The detective? You got the whole trench coat thing.
Harrison: Yes stranger, I am Harrison. Now, Young man, I have a question back to you. Are you three here to murder me.
Tom: No, we...
Henry: Shut the heck up Tom, don't tell him anything, not even a lie. Don't give him a bit of info.
Harrison: Henry, it's really nice to see you again. It's funny to see you as an old man. Of course not as old as me. I remember the good old days when you were a young man ready to solve every case that popped up. It saddens me to see my pupil working with the wrong crowd.
Henry: The old days were great. I'm glad to see you again in a way. It's great you still wear your old gray trench coat. That trench coat must be like over maybe... three decades old.
The fire alarm is still ringing over and over, it's driving me insane.
Tom: Yo, Harrison, could you turn off the freaking alarm! The ringing is a mind fuck.
Harrison: Calm down, the alarm will go off by itself in a minute or two.
Henry: Harrison, why have you been hanging out in the Dude Gum factory?
Harrison: For a couple weeks I've been investigating the link between Dude Gum and blindness. A lot of Dude Gum consumers and factory workers have been getting blindness. It’s really horrific.
Tom: Crap. I guess I won't steal a crate of Dude Gum on my way out.
Harrison: Since I was honest and answered your question, could you answer mine? Are you boys here to murder me? Because I need to know before I make my next move.
The fire alarm stop ringing, now in the room is a moment of silence.
Henry: Sorry, I'm on my client's payroll, Harrison. I could not back out now, they would kill me, my daughter. I really hoped this day would never happen.
Harrison: I wished you had the guts to just say the truth. Shame on you, Henry. I trained you to use your detective skills for the greater good, not for selfish reasons.
Henry: I had no choice, Harrison. This isn't black and white.
Harrison: Don't act like you're the victim, Henry. What happened to you? I remembered when you liked to help the common man. I remember you said something like that once to me. I am aware of all the peoples lives you destroyed, by fooling around with the stock market. You have grown up to be a crook. That’s the legacy you choose.
Henry: You know what fine, you're right, Harrison. I don't like to be paid $60 and one cup of sugar a day looking for a damn lost kid. Working for the elite keeps me off the street, ok. You knew, I always hated being poor. I saw a way out, so took it.
Harrison: Just like everyone else, you grew up to be a big disgrace. I feel ashamed of being you're being your mentor. It kills me a little every time I find out one of my ex-students are abusing their skills for selfish reasons.
Tom: Harrison, you should stop talking to us, like if you had the upper hand. With one small phone call, I could get a small army of gangbangers over here right now. The capital of the Grump street gang is literally down the block.
Henry: Tom, I told you already to shut it! Let the detectives talk. Your just the help.
Daniel finally entered the same room as me, Henry, and detective Harrison. Daniel has a big bag of stolen Dude Gum. Daniel paused and said.
Daniel: Oh shit is that the detective, Harrison guy?
Harrison: Hi.Young man, I just warned your friends about Dude Gum. You should stay away from the stuff unless you want to go blind.
Daniel: What the heck, it's fucking, detective Harrison. What are you guys waiting for? When are we going to shoot him? You got a gun, right?
Tom: We are here to capture him, Daniel. Remember?
Daniel: This guy is a folk hero, kill him now and you will be a legend for life. That would be crazy Rad.
Tom: If we kill him we won't get paid, Daniel. I only want the paper. Glory doesn't pay the bills dude.
Harrison: You guys should kidnap me already, before the cops and the fire department shows up. Remember I pulled the fire alarm three minutes ago. Unless you want to talk to me to death.
Henry: Let's go outside gentlemen! An escort van should be on its way by now. Handcuff Harrison and let's head outside.
Ok, great it seems like he won't give up a fight. We just get him to the gang warehouse and then we get paid.
I could see Henry feels shaken seeing Harrison. I can’t tell if he sad, mad, or happy.
This was way too overhyped. None of us thought this would be such a cakewalk.
Daniel: Harrison, I am surprised you're not crying like a little bitch. You do know you're walking the death march? My boss up the street is going to go nuts when he sees you.
Harrison: Only God says when I die, young man. I don't blame you because you're a product of this strange world.
Daniel: You don't know anything about me, man. I am the one who is going to end you.
Harrison: You don’t look like a murder. There is still time for you to turn back. Think to yourself is this the type of world I want to live in. It is not too late for you unlike your friend Henry.
Daniel: Henry, Harrison is talking trash about you.
Tom: Ouch.
Henry: Can everyone shut up the heck up for a second!? Our transportation is here.
A white van showed up across the street. All four of us ran in the back of the van. Daniel put duct tape over detective Harrison mouth.
Daniel: I can't wait to see you beg for your life when we bring you to our boss.
Henry: I'm surprised the van shown up on time. Also, the driver does not look drunk or stoned. The gangs hiring management department must be getting better. Hey, driver what’s your name?
The driver was a young girl That could not be more than 19 years old. She was wearing a green jumpsuit with a name tag saying, Freddy. I saw Daniel's, eyes brighten up with her cuteness.
Freddy: Oh, hey, my name is Freddy. I will be your driver for today. It's nice to finally meet you detective Henry. I’ve heard interesting about you. You found out who burn down the Grump warehouse near Echo Park.
Henry: That was my first case with Grump, Freddy. Freddy is normally not a female name. I like it, Freddy. I find it to be bold.
Freddy: Thank you. My father picks it out my name. Name after some baseball player. By the way, I'm shocked you guys captured, Harrison. I didn't even think he was still alive.
Daniel: Girl, I like your jumpsuit. It's cool you're jumpsuit as Grump Street green. How long have you been in the Grump organization? I've never seen you before in any kickbacks.
Henry: Daniel, you moron! Detective Harrison is in the van. Now he knows we're Grump street members. I hope you plugged his fricken ear.
Daniel: I didn't but Who gives a shit? He's going to die in an hour or two anyway. It doesn't really matter, man.
Henry: Tom and Daniel throw Harrison back in the van and shut up! I hope I won't be paired up with you two numbskulls again. You guys mess up my style. Anyways get Harrison tied up good. I am going to make some calls.
I tide Harrison's feet together and Daniel stuffed one of us dirty gym socks down his face throat. After that, we all went to the van and driven off.
Freddy: You guys ready to jam out?
Tom: Freddy, where are you driving us?
Freddy: We're going to the abandon, Fish Tung factory. Members are starting to show up to see if you captured, Harrison.
Henry: That’s strange. I thought we would be going to the Grump compound. Do know if there any reason why we’re not going there.
Henry: Fish Tung factory is out of business? Wow, that is insane, my grandfather works there when, Fish Tung first open, 60 years ago. What a shame, this country is really falling apart.
Daniel: Fish Tung, closed down six years ago, Henry. All the jobs got moved overseas.
Henry: Another rival fish company must have hired detectives to run out, Fish Tung and other competitors out of town. It a common thing to in business nowadays. Or most likely greedy corrupt unions. Either way very tragic.
Tom: How do detectives ruin a business.
Henry: Lots of times for small business we would dress up as IRS agents and make up fake tax fines. It gets funny when a stupid owner would pay us, off on the spot. Then we would show up once a week until the business is bankrupt. You got to turn a little soulless to enjoy that type of job. It’s mafioso type stuff.
Daniel: Man, Henry, you're ruining America more than lawyers.
Henry: Don't get me started on how us detectives use unions on major companies. That's a 30-minute lecture, pretty much, Daniel. I doubt you could comprehend it so I won't waste my breath
Daniel: F off, Henry.
Tom: Henry, are you going to stick around and watch what happens your old pal?
Henry: No, thanks. I don't want to watch, what unholy things Grump has planned for detective Harrison. I just had lunch not that long ago.
Tom: I hope it's not dog related. Once a dog tastes human flesh, it's hard for it to respect it's master again. So I have heard.
As I said that I notice, Freddy looked a little nervous. I'm guessing she has not been in Grump for that long. It took me a long time for my fear to fall off my back. One day I just accepted that no one cared for me except the gang. That gave me the strength to not fear death. Knowing the biggest gang in the United States of America got my back.
Daniel: So Freddy, what are you doing later? I'm just asking if you want to see a movie with me. The fellow that captured the world famous detective Harrison.
As long as I know Daniel, he's always been awful in picking up chicks. He also sucks at being a nice guy.
Freddy: Sorry Daniel, I'm going to be a little busy this month. I got to ship a bunch of drugs down Highland Park. Thanks though.
Daniel: Ha, that's ok. Hey anyways do you want some Dude Gums, Freddy? I stoled a bunch at the Dude Gum factory. I wish I stole a crate full of the stuff.
Freddy: I'm flattered, but I heard Dude Gums are not very good for you. Especially for your eyes.
Henry: She rejected you and won't even take your Gum. Just give up already,  Daniel, she's not going to bite.
Daniel: Shut up old man or, I'll pimp slap your ass.
Henry: What!? Did you even hear what you said? By the way, I am not even that old.
Henry: I hope you two morons won't act like this when we get to the Fish Tung factory. You do know the main boss of Grump will be there as well, right? It will be the first time I’ll probably ever see. I don’t even know anyone that knows his name.
Daniel: Wow What really? The founder of the whole gang will be there. Harrison must really have made life hell for Grump to get the founder to come down to Eagle Rock.
Tom: Henry, you should give us a little bit of respected. I and Daniel just help you catch one the greatest detective on the face of this planet. You should recommend us for some type promotion.
Henry: Why would respect low-rank gang bangers that couldn't even pass high school? You both fluke your way into this win.
Daniel: What the hell man, that's not even our fault the school district went bankrupt three years ago.
Henry: You both almost ruined the mission. Freddy, you should have been there and seen it. Detective Harrison thought Tom and stupid Daniel were the biggest clowns. Harrison could tell both of you were all bark and no bite. It was sad.
Freddy: Ha. I am glad to see all three of you guys are alright.
The Van finally made it to the Tung Fish factory. They parked next to the main dock harbor. It smelled bad.
Henry: Alright boys get Harrison out of the goddamn van.
Daniel, immediately throws Harrison down on the concrete floor. Harrison left trench coat pocket rip the way down.
Tom: Where is everyone? I thought there would be a bunch gangster here already.
Henry: I was told if detective Harrison was ever captured the founder would kill him personally. I guess he wants the world to know he captured detective Harrison. Instead of him mysteriously disappearing in history as a hero.
Tom: I assume the founder thinks Harrison, vanishing as a legend is too good of a death for him. He probably wants the world to know Grump organization is not to be messed with.
Henry: That is true, Tom. The Grump founder must be on his helicopter flying over here right about now. I sent the founder our GPS location just know. The founder does not live close by, so we’ll all have to be here for a couple of hours.
Daniel: It is super wack none of us is going to get any credit for nabbing detective old fart. Money cool in all, but bragging rights would have been great.
Daniel begins going through the van pulling out beers from one of Freddy’s storage containers.
Daniel: I found our consolation prize.
Tom: Daniel, that is Grump street property. That is not a good idea bro.
Daniel: Yeah we’re Grump street, So let’s all celebrate. Haha.
Freddy: Oh ahh...
Henry: Freddy, I apologize on behalf of my goons miss behaviors. Daniel put those beers back right now! If those go missing Freddy can get in massive trouble from the higher-ups.
Freddy: Those beers are my own stash. Sometimes I get paid for products instead of cash so you guys could drink up. I was to about to offer them anyways.
Tom: Freddy, you're the best. I will try not to look drunk when the founder gets here.
Henry: Please don't. It’s the first time I'll get to meet the man who signs my paychecks face to face.
Daniel and I began started drinking. It's a perfect time to drink a beer. The alcohol smell covers the rotten fish gut stench around us.
Freddy notice Henry was not drinking.
Freddy: Henry, you deserve a drink just much as the other guys.
Henry, why are you not drinking?
Daniel: Because he’s a fruit.
Freddy laughs at Daniels joke.
Freddy: Henry, you deserve a drink just much as  the other guys. Captured the world famous detective.
Henry, looks really surprised and happy. So was I. I really didn’t think this under dog operation would work. We capture one of the most greatest detectives of the world. He might been a old geezer now, but he still a legend.
Tom: Henry you sure you don’t want? The beer will make you twice as happy.
Henry: No thanks. I don’t drink liquor at all. It reminds about family.
Tom: Me too man. Before my mom kick out my pope. Me and my pope would drink every weekend. We would try to crash every local party we can. He was so funny back in the day.
Henry: Once again no thank you. I can’t even stand the smell of alcohol. So please step three feet back.
Tom: Hey Henry, what about your boy Harrison a beer? He should at least have a last drink.

Henry: Harrison,  doesn’t drink.

Monday, May 29, 2017

The Pimp & The Paperboy Chapter 1

The Pimp & The Paperboy

Written by Michael D. Gutierrez

Chapter 1

Dude Gum

    My mom works at a gum factory... Well, she did work at a gum factory. Dude Gum Inc. You know, the gum that says it makes you blind.
Well she tripped on a pack of Dude Gum boxes when she was walking into work one day and smashed her leg in three places really bad. She can’t work anymore because of all that crap.
    So Dude Gum Inc called me in today to talk about her worker’s compensation. The CEO himself set the meeting at the factory's boardroom. Better late than never to finally get help. I have no idea what took them so long. We used up all of my college fund to pay our rent.
    My mom told me to get all dressed up since I'm going on her behalf.

Mom: I don't want my boss to think I raise a slob. Mikey, did you wash your finger nails? You got to look professional for Mr. Kent.

Mickey: Yah yah mom I know. I'll get to it.

Mom: Don't give me yah yah, Mick. Soon as your meeting is over with, Mr. Kent, go straight to school. Keep going to school, alright?

Mickey: Dammit, school is such a waste of time. Everything they teach I could look up on my phone. All they’re trying to do is tell me how to think. When I go to class I feel like my soul is draining away into a spiral of Hell.

Mom: That's part of growing up, Mick. Anyways, hurry up you’re going to be late for the meeting.

Mickey: But it's too early. I just want to stay asleep, mom.

Mom: Now you finally know how I feel every morning. Anyways how am I going to buy groceries if we don't have my money?

Mickey: Alright, I'm going already.

Mom: Did you brush your teeth?

Mickey: Ummm, no...

Mom: Why do I need to still tell you this, Mick? You just turned thirteen and still need me to tell you this stuff.
Mickey: I'll do it when I come back. I’ve got to go or I'll be late.

    I took the 181 bus down to Eagle Rock production district. That’s where Dude Gum factory is. In the front the factory is a line of employees about to check in to work. They look like they are all overworked. Dirty smoke covered the sky above the factory.
    I walked up stairs to the meeting room. Mr. Kent had his arms crossed, ready to see me. I did not know the older man next to him with the briefcase. Mr. Kent seemed to be really pale, like he’s never been out in sun.

Mickey: Hey I'm here, hello.

Mr. Kent: You’re five minutes early. I respect that young man. Successful people are early. Believe me I know.

Mickey: I'm surprised too Mr. Kent. The Bus is never on time in this town.

Mr. Kent: Mickey, glad you came here. You have grown so much since the last time I've seen you. I remember when you were a little five year old thing.

Mickey: Yah. I never really come to the production district of Eagle Rock.

Mr.Kent: Mickey, this old British geezer looking fellow is my close friend and golden boy lawyer. Mr. Paul has been in my family since this company's birth.

Mr.Paul: It's a pleasure to meet you.

Mickey: Oh, Hello.

Mr. Kent: Hey, Mickey we have some news for you. It's some news you may not find in your favor. We both want to inform you that well...  

Mickey: What's going on?

The old guy, Mr. Paul stud up and look strait at my eyes.

Mr. Paul: Spit it out man!

Mr. Kent: Kid we don't owe you anything. Your mom got injured when she was off the clock. We destroyed any video tapes of your mom falling. So you can't sue us. You get nothing from us.

Mickey: What the hell! My mom has worked here for twelve years. She has never taken a sick day of here life. She has been employee of the month eight dozen times. Give us something guys.

Mr. Kent: Mickey, I'll give you a courtesy apology. I'm sorry. You're asking me to go against my nature. Just giving money out to people is against my nature. It's like asking a dog to kiss a cat.

Mickey: Your a billionaire how is this unreasonable reasonable.

Mr. Paul: This is what wrong with your generation. You kids want everything handed to you. Go on welfare and leave honest business owners like Mr. Kent alone. Be a drag on the system instead.

Mickey: This whole meeting was a big bull crap ambush.

Mr. Kent: Sorry, Mickey, if I don't legally have to pay you I won't. Beside you don't under stand. Workers always fake injures to get a payout from rich little old me. What am I? A slot machine.

Mickey: Why did it take two months of waiting for you guys to tell me this bullshit now. Mom has bills to pay.

Mr. Paul: I can answer that. The Dude Gum legal department is swamp with hundreds of lawsuits everyday. Because the public keeps suing us because the gum keeps turning them temporarily blind or sometimes permanently blind.

Mr. Kent. They can sue me all they want. I'm never taking moon shine off the recipe, Paul. The consumer won't stand for it. It's a international classic. Remember when we tried New Dude Gum in the 80's, Paul?

Mickey: You guys are out of touch pieces of monkey shit. Me and my mom are going to be homeless. What's our plan B, man?

Mr. Kent: I don't know? What are you thirteen? Collect cans or something like that. There's a dumpster across the street where the raiser blade factory is at. Check that, Mickey. Or you can be shoe shiner. My grandfather made a pretty nickel when he was a kid doing that when.

Mr. Paul: Young man you should be grateful were even talking to you. Do you know both of us have a six hour plane ride to, Manhattan in the morning. Plus we didn't even book our hotel rooms yet.           

Mickey: I don't care. Thanks for wasting my time. I got to get to school before I'm late.

Mr. Kent: Mickey, if I gave cash away to everyone that ask for a hand out, Dude Gum would not be a billion dollar company. It's not in business man's nature to just give. Unless there is a tax incentive. I hope you could understand how business works.

Mickey: It's not a handout you idiot. My mom hurt herself in your rundown piece of shit factory. What type of business is this? If they don't protect their own workers.

Mr: Kent: A Good business man needs to be cold blooded to keep the money in the company. Why do you think we are moving the factory to China in six months. You don't know how strong I have to be knowing I'm putting hundreds of people out off work. I've started recently getting death threats on my private emails.

Mickey: Dude Gum is moving out of Eagle Rock? But why?

Mr. Paul: He just told you idiot. Your wasting your wisdom with this kid sir. I can tell by his eyes your info is going over his head. He looks like he go's to public school.

Mr. Kent: Be nice, Paul. I think Mickey gets it. Oh, by the way Mickey, on your way out don't mention that the factory is going overseas to the workers outside. The news would lowers morale.

Mickey: You guys are a bunch of clowns in suits. What waste of time.

Mr. Kent: How rude Mickey Jones, you should count yourself lucky I don't charge you for my elite business talk. Do you know my pupils spend five grand a hour to be able to stocks with me over Skype?

Mr. Paul: That boy is a white trash fool. You remind me why I never had children. Most of you millennials are entitled bums.

Mickey: Go break a hip old man. I'm done with you guys.

Mr. Kent: Wait, Mickey don't go! I want to help your help you help yourself. Here is my card a number. The phone number on the back of my card is, Richard Lemmings he is the owner of the Eagle Rock Rose. He will hire you. I'll put in a good word for you. We're business associates. I almost bought him out a couple of  weeks ago.

Mr. Paul: You pretty much almost throw away three million in the trash sir. Print media is dieder than died. It is a lot easier to pay off bloggers to say nice things about your products instead.

Mickey: All I get is a paper card? I'm just 13 years old I can't get a job. Isn't their child labor laws?
Mr. Kent: Yeah there's child labor laws here. Why do you think I'm moving my company to China.

Mickey: I did not even know Eagle Rock had a local newspaper.

Mr. Kent: Your welcome, Mickey. I'll make the phone call to, Richard tonight. He owes me tons of favors.

Mickey: This is not fair. My mother is hurt she can't even work.

Mr. Paul: Life is not fair you little ungrateful twit. A opportunity has just appeared before you. Be a man and take it and shut up.

Mr: Kent: Show up to the Eagle Rock Rose early tomorrow morning.

I left shocked not sure about the job for the news paper company. I've never really had a job before in my life. When I walked out of the factory I felt my heart was sinking into my stomach. How am I'm I going to tell my mom were doomed. No money is coming to help us out. Crap, we're screwed. How am going to tell my no money is coming to help us.

When I walk stairs to the apartment I saw our land lord miss Chang. She is painting over big amount of graffiti made by Grump street gang.

Miss Chang: Hello, glad to see you, Mickey. I need to talk to you about the rent this month. I can't wait anymore I need the money. Where is it?

Mickey: The money is coming, Miss Chang. Your a great land lord for your patients. thank so much. You have big heart.

Miss Chang: I need the money soon. I got bills to pay too. Gentrification making everything more expensive in this town you know.

Mickey: I we know. You'll get the money soon. We haven't forgot we owe you two months of rent.

Miss Chang: I can't wait to sell this old crummy apartment complex. You people keep taking advantage of my kind nature. I don't mean you people in a racist way by the way, Mickey. I have had a white boyfriend before.

Mickey: Yah ok... I got to go. Bye!

I went into the apartment to my mom's room. She's not in here bedroom. The television is still turned on in here room.

Mickey: Mom where are you. I got really crappy news to tell you.

Mom: Mickey, I'm in the bathroom. I can't get up. Come over here.

Mickey: What the heck! What happen mom? I thought someone broke in the apartment.

Mom: I hurt my leg worse crawling to the bathroom. I can't even crawl anymore. My leg is not getting any stronger.

Mickey: You should have waited for me to come back from the factory. I could of help you to the bathroom.

Mom: No, you should be at school right now. Why are not at school?

Mickey: I'll go back to school soon, ok. I assure you I miss driving my teachers crazy.

Mom: Mickey, I need to be honest with you. I'm slowly going blind.

Mickey: What! How is that possible? You don't even chew Dude Gum, mom. It is impossible for to be getting blind.

Mom: The many years working near the chemicals effected my eyes. That's pretty much how I got hurt at the factory. I could not see were I was walking. Then I trip on the boxes.

Mickey: But the Dude Gum blindness symptom is only temporarily. Are you going to get better soon from that.

Mom: Maybe, but it's just never taken this long for the blindness to wear off before. But you know, Mick?

Mickey: What...

Mom: A great miracle is about to save us. Tell me what happen.         

Mickey: Like what, mom?

Mom: My severance package. Tell me about the severance package, Mick. What was Mr. Kent deal for us. I've known him personally for a couple of years it must be great.

Mickey: It is the first check is coming next month. Mr. Kent, told me the payroll department was having problems.

Mom: That's go because i'm tired of miss Chang staring at me like she's going to kill me. She really does breathe down your neck when you owe her money. Ha.

Lying was my only choice. I don't like to lie, but had too keep one of us sane. I don't believe in miracles. I think I got to force one to happen.

"DIG IT OR SHIT. COM" posts of the day #HelpHomeless

Wilson Jackson
(@WilsonJackson): We pray for the homeless because time are tuff in America right now. There God's creation. #HelpHomeless

Mack Gray
(@MackGray) : What's with all these homeless in Eagle Rock? I thought we were out of the recession. This is ridiculous. #HelpHomeless

Troll Guy
(@Troll669): Check out my latest viral video of me giving laxative chocolate to some homeless folks. LOL! I do the best pranks. I do the most epic gags. #PrankHomeless

Brad Monday
(@BradMonday) : All these homeless guys are just bums. They should stop begging for money and get a job like me. I bust my balls at the old Dude Gum factory everyday you hear. You'll never see me beg for food or money. #ForgetHomeless

Stephanie Bell
(@Stephaniebell): There should be some programs to help these poor  people in our community. Don't forget a lot of them are children and elderly. #HelpHomeless

Daniel Mans
(@DanielMans): No, stop with this socialists talk. I run a business, I  do know very well how the world works, ok. Leave the helpless alone. They will just drag you down. You bleeding heart liberals need to understand that. #ignoreHomeless

Grace Adams
( @GraceD): let's just admit it, nobody wants the homeless in their city. We just can't seem to find a solution. #HelpHomeless

James Brave
(@JamesBrave): I hate seeing their sad faces everyday after work. Why does no one just move them all to a different town like Highland Park or Pasadena. Put them in some type of camp. #MoveTheHomeless

Frank Gram
(@FrankGram): I saw some homeless guy tripping balls on Dude Gum. It happen a week ago next to the mall. Or maybe he could have been  drunk. #GumHomeless

Dude Gum Inc
(@DudeGum): Hey bro, Dude Gum does not make people delusional. The worst our product can do is turn a person blind temporarily. When someone abuses our product. For more information check our website,   #HelpHomeless

Frank Gram
(@FrankGram): Rad, Dude Gum responded to my post. Lol. #DudeGum

Dude Gum Inc
(@DudeGum): Of course we did, Frank Gram. Corporations are people too you know. We will donate $50,000 to the closest homeless shelter. Because we care ;) #HelpHomeless

Eagle Rock Rose
(@Eagle Rock Rose): Breaking News! Dude Gum Inc, announced they  donated $50,000 to a homeless shelter. What a great company run by a genius. Eagle Rock Rose is proud to have, Dude Gum Inc as our  advertiser for longs as we have been running. Thanks.  #BreakingNews